on your birthday, many years ago, your mother, a passing gypsie woman who was trying to find the toilet, gave birth to what can only be described as cancer. they labelled this shit horse haydn.

haydn was never destined for good things, by the age of two he had already caused the hallocaust and everyone in europe thought he was gay.

when he reached the prime age of five the shere badness of haydn had touched american shores. they all thought he was well bent too. things didn't exactly get better for old haydn either . his seventh year caused the death of a perfectly nice family, and also the destruction of a really nice place with lots of kittens.

at just twelve years old, wee haydn went to greater lengths of crapness by removing his small penis from his groin and attaching it to his head. everyone thought this sucked ass. at only fourteen haydn performed his first terrorist attack by flying two planes into buildings and then blaming it on some iraqi bloke called Bin.

and now haydn, this is your life. . . . . you really are shit